When one feels impatient, one feels unloved

Oftentimes, we think that, even if we're in a relationship, we feel that there is imbalance and distrust; as if one of you, or both, feels like over or under-loved. You come to a point where you think, "Hey, I should do something special tonight for my love" and then in an instant, a thought bellows to counter it, saying, "Wait a minute, I was the last one who gave something special. They should compliment that first." It happens. We are human, and we are wired to have errors in every field of emotions and actions. Sometimes, we give in, we never continue that plan of 'something special', and we wait and wait for the assumption that they'll do as what you think. And then you ponder, "Why is this person so insensitive? Why do I love this person? They don't love me back, they don't give me back the love I need!" We fall into retaliation, making the other person miss us, making tantrums, giving signals, and the worst, fight over senseless things.

Now there are two kinds of personal analysis that needs to be done when one person, that one person who first realizes the situation, gets caught in the dilemma. One: Think of this. "Wait, am I giving too much, and as well, expecting a lot in return?" Maybe you are, indeed, giving too much. And you are, also, expecting a lot in return. Of course, we can't rule out the notion that we expect. Hey, this is a relationship, it's a give-and-take kind of thing. It's better to analyze first why your partner fails to do the 'loving you back' part. Maybe they're tired, always stress from work. Maybe they're busy will all the stuff, problems, anything you see which is really pressuring your partner. Maybe, maybe, there'll be a lot of maybe's. Give them some time; they will get back at you and give you the love you need. And if it never happens, and you see that, you're always the one doing everything for her (catch a grenade, will you?), then also maybe, it's time to recount and see if this is the relationship you want.

The next, the second kind is, the point of asking "Why do I love this person?" and stopping right there so you'll be able to analyze your own feelings. Why do you? Why do you keep holding on? Is there a truce you two have made? Or a pre-relationship agreement? Or you just love the person, you trust them, and you know that you're the one who overreacts to situations most of the time? Yep, sometimes we really love that person that we want to know every detail of what's happening on their day. Even what time they went to the toilet. Just relax, we should let our partners breath. Don't worry, they also feel the same. But what's important, you both understand your situations, and respect each other's time. For the long run, you'll be needing that virtue of patience to keep your relationship strong and lasting.

I'm writing this piece not just to express my thoughts, but also to remind me and keep me on track of what should be done within a relationship, so that both of us are happy. And very much in love.

Love Theory According to Writer Lucas

Para Kay B (o kung paano dinevastate ng pag-ibig ang 4 out of 5 sa atin)
Ricky Lee, 2008

A friend of mine showed me her latest collection of newly bought books one August night. One of the items had the faded red and some caricatures as a book cover. She told me it was a Filipino novel. I was expecting it to be something serious, since all Filipino novels I come across on bookstores are hardcore literary-fancy books. Well this one was something new. Para Kay B, written by Ricky Lee, it says. So it was Ricky Lee’s new book. Oh, Ricky Lee the infamous scriptwriter? My friend said yes, and also told me it was a light comedy kind of novel. So it intrigued me more. The last time I read something from Ricky Lee’s written stuff was almost a decade ago, when I was still drooling over Trip to Quiapo and almost serious in choosing Journalism as a course just to write scripts. And the last time I read something light and comedy in Filipino literature was the Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas-Bob Ong days more than five years ago. So why not give it a try, I thought, and maybe I’ll be having a good laugh from this book. Or some few tips for a more exciting love affair. Set aside those Stephen King books and dwell on funny slice of life stories.