When one feels impatient, one feels unloved

Oftentimes, we think that, even if we're in a relationship, we feel that there is imbalance and distrust; as if one of you, or both, feels like over or under-loved. You come to a point where you think, "Hey, I should do something special tonight for my love" and then in an instant, a thought bellows to counter it, saying, "Wait a minute, I was the last one who gave something special. They should compliment that first." It happens. We are human, and we are wired to have errors in every field of emotions and actions. Sometimes, we give in, we never continue that plan of 'something special', and we wait and wait for the assumption that they'll do as what you think. And then you ponder, "Why is this person so insensitive? Why do I love this person? They don't love me back, they don't give me back the love I need!" We fall into retaliation, making the other person miss us, making tantrums, giving signals, and the worst, fight over senseless things.

Now there are two kinds of personal analysis that needs to be done when one person, that one person who first realizes the situation, gets caught in the dilemma. One: Think of this. "Wait, am I giving too much, and as well, expecting a lot in return?" Maybe you are, indeed, giving too much. And you are, also, expecting a lot in return. Of course, we can't rule out the notion that we expect. Hey, this is a relationship, it's a give-and-take kind of thing. It's better to analyze first why your partner fails to do the 'loving you back' part. Maybe they're tired, always stress from work. Maybe they're busy will all the stuff, problems, anything you see which is really pressuring your partner. Maybe, maybe, there'll be a lot of maybe's. Give them some time; they will get back at you and give you the love you need. And if it never happens, and you see that, you're always the one doing everything for her (catch a grenade, will you?), then also maybe, it's time to recount and see if this is the relationship you want.

The next, the second kind is, the point of asking "Why do I love this person?" and stopping right there so you'll be able to analyze your own feelings. Why do you? Why do you keep holding on? Is there a truce you two have made? Or a pre-relationship agreement? Or you just love the person, you trust them, and you know that you're the one who overreacts to situations most of the time? Yep, sometimes we really love that person that we want to know every detail of what's happening on their day. Even what time they went to the toilet. Just relax, we should let our partners breath. Don't worry, they also feel the same. But what's important, you both understand your situations, and respect each other's time. For the long run, you'll be needing that virtue of patience to keep your relationship strong and lasting.

I'm writing this piece not just to express my thoughts, but also to remind me and keep me on track of what should be done within a relationship, so that both of us are happy. And very much in love.

My obligation is to the one I love

And not to the people surrounding us. My actions should always be beheld to the woman I lay my life for. The woman I love is the woman who should receive my love foremost. I've grown from telling others 'I love this girl and you see that I love her' to telling the woman first 'I love you and I know you feel that I love you.' Because love is between two, and others, including the family and friends of both person involved, are not the main objective of this love, not the main players of this act of love. They should support, not abhor, not judge, not meddle in the affair. For two people in love has their own life to live: a life of one, a life of the other, a life of both.

In the middle of a War where the Liberals try to make a world ruled by reason and reality

This is not a post entirely about history; rather, a story about love.

We live in the country of the Philippines, which, as told and re-told a hundred times already in school books, was under the Spanish regime for more than 300 years and became a large cradle of the religion of Christianity up to now. Where the people who are still living, are also struggling to figure out where they fit best: in the traditional, conservatism mindset born from the lessons they got from their elders; or in the raging, fast idealism of pop culture the West has brought upon us; or maintaining the "nationalism effect" on which the glory of the name of the Motherland should be top and among the best in the world. The Filipinos, as how I see them, is in a total bipolar state. A nation of happy smiles but can flip in a second to become the angriest mob they can be. They can be hospitable, but they can be pretentious. Most parents abhor mistakes and want their children to live as perfect as they can be. New generations hating their preceding ones. A nation mind-controlled by media, politics, religion, power, guns, capitalists, among others. A controlled chaos, a country with lost identity.

It's a generalization, and even if I've promised never to generalize again, I just have to let one steam go off. One last. I'm getting frustrated about how the people in this country, including me, are being trapped in the paradox of living under the false meaning of Freedom. I mostly believe it really doesn't exist at all.

But that's not really what I'm gonna rant about.

It's about the traditional culture and mindset of my family in regards to the current relationship I have.

As far as I know, there are no reasons not to date a single mom. Most of them are even the perfect choice for a woman to be involved with. They are more responsible, they are more eager to live a settled life, they dream bigger and aim for a brighter future. It is indeed my earliest wish before to be able to meet and live with someone who are mature, be a single parent or 30-something accomplished lady. I was readying my self since before about this choice. I knew before how people would react, more on how my family will think about my decision. I'm all ready to defend my choice. Now I'm in this scenario. It's the most perfect time to test if I can live by my ideals. And I'm very glad I'm enjoying this life with her right now. I stand by my choice on having a single mom as my girl.

I'm making it last as much as possible.

Mid-January already?

Cooking breakfast for your girlfriend. I think I'm getting the hang of it.

Hello 2013. :)